When someone is committed to misunderstanding you


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Ugh. When someone is committed to misunderstanding you – or at least appears that way – that’s not the right kind of commitment companies are looking for. But how can change management bring it all back to actual forward progress?

Sarah Gorsh and Courtney Smock, partners at Slingshot25, are experts at change management and join me on Episode 675 of “The Business Storytelling Show” to discuss just that topic.

Join us.

Change can be hard, especially when it doesn’t make sense

Change is hard. It’s even harder when people seem determined to misinterpret every word you say. This challenge, where individuals appear committed to misunderstanding, is a common yet often overlooked hurdle in change management.

Sarah Gorsh and Courtney Smock, partners at change management firm Slingshot 25, have seen this scenario play out numerous times. They shared their insights on “The Business Storytelling Show,” shedding light on why this happens and how leaders can address it.

“Leaders think that everyone knows everything they think. And they forget that they haven’t told them,” said Courtney.

This simple observation gets to the heart of many misunderstandings in organizations. Leaders easily assume teams have the same level of knowledge and context as they do. But in reality, employees often work with limited information.

This gap in understanding can lead to situations where people seem committed to misinterpreting the change message. However, what looks like deliberate misunderstanding is often the result of incomplete communication.

“We once worked with a tech company that was switching to a new project management system,” said Sarah. “The CEO thought it would be a simple change. He sent out one email about it and expected everyone to adapt quickly. But weeks later, hardly anyone was using the new system.”

Read next: Leadership blind spots: Why your change efforts might be failing

In this case, what the CEO saw as resistance or misunderstanding was actually a lack of proper communication and support. The employees weren’t committed to misunderstanding; they simply didn’t have enough information or training to implement the change effectively.

Reasons behind the apparent pushback

However, it’s important to recognize that sometimes, people genuinely don’t want to change. This raises an important question for leaders: when is it necessary to win over everyone, and when is it better to focus on those who are willing to adapt? In some cases, especially for smaller organizations, it might be more effective to bring in a new team rather than trying to force change on those who are resistant.

Another factor that can lead to apparent misunderstanding is the emotional aspect of change.

“We tend to want to like move forward with the change so much that we sort of like want to avoid or push past all the emotions,” said Sarah.

When leaders fail to acknowledge the emotional impact of change, employees may react in ways that seem like deliberate misunderstanding. They might cling to old ways of doing things or interpret new directives in ways that align with their comfort zones. It looks like a situation of when someone is committed to misunderstanding you. But is it really?

“Every time we have a gap around decision clarity, communication, you have confusion, anxiety, fear of the unknown. People try to solve the puzzle, instead of working,” said Courtney.

When people don’t fully understand the reasons behind a change or its implications, they may spend more energy trying to figure out what’s really going on than adapting to the new situation. This can look like to you like when someone is committed to misunderstanding you. But it’s often a sign that people need more information and clarity.

The impact of change

The perception of committed misunderstanding can also arise when leaders underestimate the impact of a change on different parts of the organization.

It could be employees struggling to adapt to a more significant change than leaders realized. The front-line staff weren’t committed to misunderstanding; they were grappling with a major shift in their daily work without adequate support.

“When you’re at the finish line, they’re just getting started,” said Sarah.

Leaders need to remember that while they’ve had time to process and accept the change, their teams are just beginning that journey.

Effective communication

Effective communication goes beyond simply announcing a change. It involves explaining the reasons behind the change, its implications for different roles, and providing ongoing support and information. Creating safe spaces for feedback and questions can help surface misunderstandings before they become entrenched.

Change takes time, and what might look like committed misunderstanding early in the process could simply be part of the natural adaptation curve. However, leaders should also be prepared to make tough decisions about team members who remain resistant to change despite clear communication and support.

By recognizing that apparent “committed misunderstanding” is often a symptom of deeper issues, leaders can address the root causes and guide their teams more effectively through change. Instead of becoming frustrated with perceived resistance, they can use these situations as opportunities to improve communication, provide better support, and ultimately lead more successful change initiatives.

When someone seems committed to misunderstanding you, it’s important to discern whether it’s due to lack of information, fear of change, or genuine unwillingness to adapt. By approaching these situations with empathy and clarity, leaders can navigate the complex landscape of organizational change more effectively.

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